Editing a Dating Profile for Men

I recently came across an interesting dating profile on match. Here it is:

Are us good guys really so hard for women to find? Alrighty then, here are my innermost thoughts...

First, some housekeeping. Some have said my few pix are lousy. Tell ya what, I"ll send you more or better, Pix. If you are curious about my physical looks, JUST ASK ME!)

Does Match only work for women, not for men? The chemistry of personality & physical attraction is hard to find, but when found, it's amazing. Hard to believe all us "Good Guys" are taken. I think most women on Match have just experienced the "serial daters", & we "previously domesticated", "well trained" guys get lumped in with the schmucks. There must be a woman out there who's romantic, honest, faithful, erotic, has sense of humor, loves their family, friends &wants to explore new interests, activities & the road less traveled. Someone to become best friends with, get to know our deepest feelings, thoughts and Intimate Desires. I consider myself all of the above, & can carry on intelligent conversations for more than two minutes. I'm not hard charger through the "Dating Scene" just for the ACTION. I'm just the opposite. Not that I don't like the girl/guy ACTION, I'm a guy after all, & an assertive woman is on my "turn-on" list for this profile. But usually that's it a quick round of mattress aerobics, & BANG! But those relationships don't last.(Not that there's anything wrong with that!!!)I'm willing to wait for the right match, if your out there. I'm a normal, healthy, happy & active kind of guy. (I'm not the marathon before breakfast/free climbing half dome before bed kind of guy). Right now it's work, family, friends, gym, fun, and lifes little chores (can't forget those), and free time, like now. Not always in that order. And I definately want to fit in a nice, honest, uninhibited, faithful, girlfriend into that schedule. (sarcastic humor). Long Sunday drives, weekend getaways, go to games or participating, skiing is fav., or lunch/dinners & of cou personal entertainment. I'm very easy, relaxed in my new found single life. I'm ready and able to be molded and trained into your hearts desire. I enjoy the quiet times when nothings pending. Sitting or laying together on the couch, talking, watching a movie, Daily Show or cozy time enjoying a rainy night under a blanket(as is normally described here in these forums). My Looks? Well I consider myself reletively attractive(again everything is relative and you can ask for measurements if you want.)Some have told me I look a little younger than my actual age, some say older(Not Many!). But I definely don't always think or act my age. But again those are all YOUR calls. YOU get to decide all those factors when you talk and meet with me. I'm the guy you might pause and take a second look at, in a Starbucks, or the supermarket, at the airport, or even next to you on a plane, maybe your standing next to me in a elevator of a professional building. Well dressed, a suit/tie most of the time, my favorite jeans during all other times. As I mentioned earlier, I'm polite, professional, respectful, mostly extroverted, but quiet if I don't know you. I’m not the type to hit on you or ask you out during our brief chat during a slow elevator ride. But if you become comfortable at that point? Hmmm, maybe you might volunteer your number or e-maiL(I like that best), or maybe I ask for your number or e-mail and I connect with you later? Maybe we just continue talking until a comfort level develops? Who knows? I always respect other people and their boundaries. I am the type of guy your parents might have liked, (or who knows, might have HATED) “That Nice Guy Next Door” type. However, I'm not stuck in my ways. I'm very laid back, and open to almost everything. Originally from a town in Northern Wis. and have retained my Midwestern values & blended them with my great California upbringing.
I'm the guy you CAN teach new tricks . I know you want to. Come on Mistris Mandy, TEACH ME!

Ps. Pix all taken in the last year. New ones will be sent to you if

First of all, I have to say that paragraphs are necessary to make a dating profile easier on the eyes. It is already hard to read so many dating profiles. Make it easier for the women.

Now, here is how I would edit it to make it more appealing without changing it too much.

- The headline should be exciting and intriguing. Yours is desperate and frustrated, like you are giving up before you even start. - Are us good guys really so hard for women to find? Come up with something more original..

- This needs to go Alrighty then, here are my innermost thoughts... What is it for? What does it do for your profile? Just filler? Don’t warm up the engine. Grab the reader’s attention from the first paragraph.

- First, some housekeeping. Some have said my few pix are lousy. Tell ya what, I"ll send you more or better, Pix. If you are curious about my physical looks, JUST ASK ME!) – ok, this “sales pitch” is like saying “now I am going to tell you why you should buy a used vacuum cleaner”

- Does Match only work for women, not for men? Translates “I am so sick and tired of not getting ANY responses”

- The chemistry of personality & physical attraction is hard to find, but when found, it's amazing. – this is ok, mediocre but ok

- Hard to believe all us "Good Guys" are taken. - Sounding like a women’s psychology expert. And who said women like the “good guys”, AKA spineless doormats. Women like men who are exciting, intriguing, dangerous, unpredictable

- I think most women on Match have just experienced the "serial daters", - where do you get this information? & we "previously domesticated", "well trained" guys get lumped in with the schmucks.

There must be - this first part makes you sound frustrated and disappointed. It needs to go
a woman out there who's romantic, honest, faithful, and erotic, has sense of humor, loves her (not theirs) family, friends and wants to explore new interests, activities and the road less traveled. Someone to become best friends with, get to know our deepest feelings, thoughts and intimate desires (no need to capitalize Intimate Desires even though you may think it’s the most important part, it makes a woman go ewwwwww)

I consider myself all of the above. I can carry on intelligent conversations for more than two minutes. I'm not hard charger through the "Dating Scene" just for the ACTION. I'm just the opposite.

- Not that I don't like the girl/guy ACTION, I'm a guy after all, & an assertive woman is on my "turn-on" list for this profile. But usually that's it a quick round of mattress aerobics, & BANG! But those relationships don't last.(Not that there's anything wrong with that!!!)I'm willing to wait for the right match, if your out there. – this needs to go
I am healthy, happy and active. (I'm not the marathon before breakfast/free climbing half dome before bed kind of guy). Right now it's work, family, friends, gym, fun, and life’s little chores (can't forget those), and free time, like now. Not always in that order. And I definitely want to fit in a nice, honest, uninhibited, faithful, girlfriend into that schedule.. (sarcastic humor).
Long Sunday drives, weekend getaways, going to games or participating, skiing are my favorites, or lunch, dinners and of course personal entertainment.

I'm very easy, and relaxed in my newly found single life. I enjoy quiet times when nothing is pending. Sitting or laying together on the couch, talking, watching a movie, Daily Show or cozy time enjoying a rainy night under a blanket (as is normally described here in these forums).
I'm the guy you might pause and take a second look at, in a Starbucks, or the supermarket, at the airport, or even next to you on a plane, maybe your standing next to me in a elevator of a professional building. Well dressed in a suit and tie most of the time, or my favorite jeans during all other times.

As I mentioned earlier, I'm polite, professional, respectful, mostly extroverted, but quiet if I don't know you. I’m not the type to hit on you or ask you out during our brief chat during a slow elevator ride. But if you become comfortable at that point? Hmmm, maybe you might volunteer your number or e-mail (l like that best), or maybe I ask for your number or e-mail and I connect with you later? Maybe we just continue talking until a comfort level develops? Who knows? I always respect other people and their boundaries. I am the type of guy your parents might have liked. That Nice Guy Next Door type. However, I'm not stuck in my ways. I'm very laid back, and open to almost everything. Originally from a town in Northern Wis. I have retained my Midwestern values and blended them with my great California upbringing.